The Power of Strong Language

Have you ever noticed that some people command respect when speaking while others don’t? The power of strong language is the difference between telling your boss that you need the day off and asking if it would be possible to take the day off. While it’s not okay to act self-righteous and show a lack of respect for your superiors, it is important to take charge and act on what you need.

The power of strong language can be a hard concept to grasp, and even harder to implement if you aren’t used to actively telling people how you feel and what you need, however once you do learn how to utilize this concept, there will be an immediate and noticeable difference in how others react to you.

Think about how you would react if someone asked you this:

“Can I take this day off? If it’s too busy or you can’t make it work, that’s fine.”

You would probably go ahead and check what the schedule looks like for that day, look what other employees are working, if it’s a busy week, etc. before letting that person know if that day would work or not. However, if someone were to come to you with the following statement, chances are that you would react differently.

“I need to take this day off because I have a personal obligation to tend to.”

When you make a statement instead of posing a question, people tend to accept it instead of questioning it. When you ask for a day off, you are giving off the notion that it isn’t a big deal and that you don’t mind if you don’t get the day off. Often people want specific dates off for a reason, so portraying that it isn’t important to you is counterproductive.

Another situation where powerful language is useful is when you have to say “No” to something or someone. I actually found myself in this situation recently, and acted on it incorrectly. I’m usually pretty adamant about telling people when I’m taking time off and taking control of the situation, but saying no to an engagement sort of blindsided me into using weak language. (Low and behold I didn’t end up getting out of it.)

I was asked if I could come to an event, and even though I really had other plans, I ended up responding with the following: “If you really need me and want me there, I can come.” Even as I’m writing this I realize how weak and unassertive that sounded. How I should have answered was: “I’ve made other plans because I wasn’t aware that you wanted me to be there.”

NOTE** One thing that is VERY important to realize is that you don’t owe anyone at work an explanation if you need time off or cannot do extra work that is above and beyond your original agreement. Simply saying “I need time off” or “I cannot do that” should suffice, and if someone prods you for more information, all you need to respond with is “It’s personal” or “I’d rather not discuss it.”

The bottom line is that we all find ourselves in situations where we need to assert our wants, needs, and actual abilities, but it can be hard to articulate this. Using powerful language shows others that you aren’t going to back down and let them choose for you.

Whether you are at work, with friends, or even with your family, the power of strong language and utilizing it correctly will help you take control of your life and choose how you handle various situations.