FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is real, and it happens both in our work and personal lives. Because of this fear of missing an opportunity, it’s easy to find yourself on the yes train, only to feel overexerted and spread too thin. While taking advantage of every opportunity is great, it’s also important to realize when saying no is in your best interest.
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When your calendar is already crammed:
When your calendar is already jam packed, saying no is probably the way to go. While you may be able to fit in a quick networking event or take on one extra project, it’s important to assess the obligations you’ve already committed to before saying yes to something. Would taking on this extra task take a lot of work? How much would it cut into your down time?
Hustling is important, but taking care of yourself and giving yourself enough time to relax and recharge is essential.
When you’d be covering for someone else who is always slacking:
Occasionally covering for a friend or a coworker who’s always there for you is one thing, but picking up the slack for someone who always falls short is something different.
Yes, being the bigger person and being recognized for your ability to pick up the pieces is great, but there’s a point when it gets too exhausting and it’s not worth it. If you continually cover for someone or finish the work that they were supposed to, you are showing them that a) you don’t mind that they are slacking and b) that they can continue to do what they’re doing because you will finish what they don’t. In this case, you are doing yourself and the other person a disservice. Try talking to them directly, and if that doesn’t work, discuss the situation with your boss.
There’s nothing wrong with saying “I’ve been doing x, y, and z to help [name] out, but it’s getting hard to get everything done, and I don’t want it to affect my own responsibilities which I’ve already committed to.”
When it’s a last minute request and you already have plans/other obligations:
We’ve all had that last minute work request that impedes on our weekend. Sometimes it’s worth it to suck it up and take on the request if you can, but unless it is in your contract and/or job description, you’re not required to do so.
If you aren’t given ample notice (at least a week or two) and you’ve already committed to something else, that is definitely one of those times when saying no is in your best interest. You have every right to do as you please on your own time, and an unexpected work event doesn’t take precedence over your prior obligations. If you’ve been given ample time to reschedule your plans, that’s one thing, but something that comes up last minute is reasonable to decline.
If you’re not connecting with someone or don’t think you can produce what they’re looking for:
This can be a tough one, but it’s okay to tell someone that you don’t think working together is a good fit. As long as you do so politely and explain your reasoning, being honest will be beneficial for both parties. Going into a partnership with someone who you don’t like, don’t feel you can work with, or don’t feel you can succeed with won’t be much use to either of you, so you might as well be up front about it and save yourself some trouble.
Is a potential client asking for something that you can’t (or won’t) give them? Did you interview with a company where you thought you’d fit in, but the office vibe was totally wrong for you? Does a friend want to go into business together even though you feel it’s a terrible idea? In any of these situations, saying no is in your best interest.
Saying yes may open you up to opportunities and partnerships which will benefit you, but assessing the situation, your needs, (both mental and physical) and how the request will affect you is essential to figuring out when saying no is in your best interest.