As someone who’s both dealt with and witnessed people dealing with tragedy or other personal life struggles, I’ve learned a lot about how to how to balance your personal situations and work. After reading Sheryl Sandberg’s incredible commencement speech at UC Berkeley, I was inspired to discuss my own opinions (based off of experience) about how to handle less than ideal situations at the office.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and feel like nothing else (i.e. work) matters when you’re dealing with a personal life struggle such as death, illness, family issues, etc. It’s important to acknowledge this, and take some time for yourself. Communication is key, and though you do not owe anyone at the office details, you do owe them some sort of explanation as to why your head is not there. This explanation may be as simple as “I’m not comfortable discussing the details, but I’m dealing with some personal problems/a personal situation, so I just wanted to let you know that I may have to take some time off.” OR “…I may not be as mentally available for you.”
Communicating your needs to your peers and/or managers ensures that you’re not leaving anybody hanging without an explanation, and that you’re covering your bases in case you unexpectedly need to take some time off. One thing I’ve learned is that you need to take personal time for yourself. If you over commit yourself before you’re ready, your work probably won’t be adequate anyway, so you might as well take the time you require, get your head clear, and then come back strong.
While it sometimes may be helpful to go to work to get out of the house and get your mind off whatever personal struggles you’re handling, don’t take on responsibilities you can’t properly fulfill. If you’re willing and able to take on planning a major event or a big report, go for it, however it’s much wiser to politely decline a leading role than to accept it and not come through with a great end result.
Everyone (including your crazy boss) is human, and everyone has seen or dealt with some sort of hardship. The only thing you can do is be honest, be clear, communicate your needs, and don’t over commit yourself before you’re ready. People will always understand if you help them see your perspective; it’s the only way how to balance your personal situations and work.
This is an interesting post as we all have to deal, at least once in our lifetime, difficult personal matters, and we are sometimes hesitating between hiding or telling the whole truth … Well, rational behavior is in the middle : you have to communicate just enough …
I agree! While you should never feel pressure to discuss information you’re not comfortable with, it’s often much better for everyone to have at least some idea of what is going on so it can be handled/delegated/dealt with properly.