It’s an easy trap to fall in. They want to know all about you, so you end up writing an essay that comes off as, “I did this…I did that…and I like this…”. One of the most common mistakes I see in people writing personal statements or application essays is that they start almost every sentence with “I”. Sure, the school or program wants to learn about you, but they also are looking to see how you could be of benefit, and what you could bring to the table. Unfortunately, a boring recollection of your childhood isn’t going to do much in your favor.
A good rule of thumb is to get everything down on paper, then edit from there. Try to change some your sentence starters into other phrases than “I”. For example, “I’ve always wanted to be in business because of the economics class I took in high school,” could be changed to this: “Sparking my interest in 10th grade, Mr. Potter’s econ class fostered my love for business which drove me into this industry.” It’s a much more compelling statement, utilizing small details, and it doesn’t start off with the subject, “I”. Obviously you shouldn’t change every sentence, but it’s always good to have a mix of sentence types and starting phrases to keep the reader engaged.
Similarly, it’s a common occurrence for people to try to explain a shortcoming/why it’s acceptable/what they’ve gained from it by making this weakness more apparent to the reader. For instance, if you have a different degree than most candidates, it would be beneficial to say something along the lines of, “My formal education in English paired with my passion for medicine has given me an opportunity to gain a better understanding of medical journals and how scientific writing is a crucial part of medical research.” The following sentence may point out an area of weakness: “With a degree in my lifelong passion, English, I have very recently been exposed to the world of medicine.”
No one is perfect, and admissions committees know this, so it’s okay to be atypical or have an area of weakness. It is important, however, to try and camouflage the negative or spin it into a positive factor instead of creating a glaring hole in your application.
Writing about yourself is seemingly easy, but can turn out to be one of the hardest things you may take on. Have a specific question about your application? Contact me through the “Have a Question?” page, and I’ll do my best to get you an answer!